Here We Go, Again

These past twelve months were our personal light year – I still can’t believe our little girl turned one on Sunday!

Yet, it was such a joy seeing Ava celebrate this big milestone with both of our moms.  We weren’t able to throw her the birthday party that we would have wanted given a resurgence of coronavirus cases in our State.  Yet, we made it work – with Baby Shark decorations and many gifts from family and friends who showered Ava with love from afar.  Ava really got into the tearing of wrapping paper; it was fun to watch her open presents.

As we close out the past year as new fathers, we are also laying the groundwork for our growing family.  In addition to our new pug puppy, Poncho, we are also preparing for… (drum roll, please), our journey to give Ava a little brother.

As many of you know, we initially tried for twins, but unfortunately, one of the embryos did not take.  In many ways, it was a blessing in disguise as we had our hands full with just baby Ava who got 100% of our love and attention.  But now, we are well on our way to giving Ava a brother to play and fight with.  It’s important for us to have them be close in age so we are moving fast.

Moving fast is a bit of a misnomer, much of the work that we’ve been doing has truly taken a bit of time to line up behind the scenes.  Particularly because finding an amazing surrogate to give us the gift of life is no easy feat; these amazing women are truly unicorns.  We went on a waitlist shortly after discovering that Ava’s twin had not successfully implanted way back in February of 2019!

Some of you might be asking, but why didn’t you work with Ilsa?   Tía Ilsa is Ava’s amazing surrogate and now part of our extended family.  Unfortunately, while we really wanted to, some complications during our last pregnancy made that impossible.  Our fertility doctors at San Diego Fertility Center reviewed the case and found those same complications would likely reoccur putting both Ilsa and our baby’s life in jeopardy.

But, in a stroke of good luck, we have been matched with our new amazing surrogate, Mandi!  Mandi lives in the suburbs outside of Minneapolis, she is married and has two of the most adorable kids, ever.  We’ve really enjoyed getting to know Mandi and her family and recently got a chance to spend time together in person while we were visiting San Diego for a check-up at our clinic.  Mandi has a heart of gold – she’s genuine and her reasons for wanting to help us build our family are grounded in a place of love.  We can’t thank enough our agency, IARC, for their knack for finding people like Mandi and Ilsa who restore our faith in humanity, every day.

Many folks will likely ask, will Ava’s brother be biologically related to her or will you be using a different egg donor?  The answer is – her little brother will actually be her half sibling. We created all of our embryos at the same time way back in 2018, so technically, Ava’s little brother will be her fraternal half-twin who has been cryogenically frozen in time while she’s been growing out here with us!  We also know the gender of our remaining embryos since we did do initial genetic screening in order to detect any early genetic abnormalities that might impact our success rate.  So, all of this is very sci-fi, but in a good way.  It will make for a great story.

Things really are moving at warp speed.  But, we will continue to update you all on our journey towards making our dream a reality.  As they say, the best it yet to come.  And if the last year is any indication, there are great things in store for the ever-growing Aguirre family.

Anticipation For What’s Next

Picture: Aguirre Family Holiday Decorations, 2018

When I was a little boy, Christmas was my favorite holiday.  In fact, it still is – my husband thinks I’m Christmas crazy.  The one thing that struck me the most about Christmas was not the moment of opening up presents.  (I loved that part.)

No, what stays with me up until this day is the anticipation.  That delicious build up to the BIG DAY.  You’d walk through the streets and see holiday decorations.  You’d hear Christmas music in the stores.  My mom would take us to see the Christmas tree in Union Square and the holiday windows at Macy’s.  My mouth would water at the thought of my aunt’s holiday tamales.  It was a magical build up that I relish up until this day.  Hence why my holiday decorations go up the weekend after Thanksgiving every year – rain or shine.

Now, the anticipation that we’ve felt leading up to the next big milestone in our surrogacy journey – the embryo transfer, hasn’t been the same.

Yes, the feeling of excitement is there.  So is the feeling of joy.  But, this anticipation also brings with it nervousness, anxiety and yes, a little fear.  We’re taking a big step into the unknown.

But, it’s finally happening!

Right before Thanksgiving we learned that our surrogate, Ilsa’s, ovulation cycle was a bit ahead of schedule.  We originally planned to travel to San Diego on December 4^th for the embryo transfer.  But now, we were moving up the transfer a whole week earlier.  Suddenly, things were getting real, real fast!

We felt a rush of panic.  Those feelings of nervousness, anxiety and fear – I imagine that they are normal.  The stakes are high.  And so much can still not go our way.  Our first transfer could fail.  Or if we do get pregnant, what if only one embryo survives.  How will one of us feel about losing a little piece of ourselves?

This is when you simply need to put your hands up and acknowledge that the universe needs to do its’ own holiday magic.  Things will play out as they’re supposed to.  We just need to live through it and find out, together.

On the positive side, DJ and I are thrilled to finally get to meet Ilsa in person.  We’re incredibly grateful to her and just excited to get to know her and break some bread.  We’ll also get to meet her mom.

And, the good news is that we won’t have to wait long to discover if we are pregnant.  Ilsa will likely take a home pregnancy test a week after.  And two weeks after the transfer in mid-December, the clinic will do a beta blood test to confirm if Ilsa is pregnant or not.

Then, assuming that we ARE pregnant, we’ll have to wait for our first sonogram in about 4-6 weeks to get an early read on whether we are having twins or not.  (And even then, a second sonogram at 8 weeks is required to definitively tell us yay or nay on whether both embryos have made it.)

And all of this is contingent on a successful embryo transfer.

So, we wait.  This anticipation isn’t like the feelings I had as a little boy waiting for Christmas.  Instead of dreaming about a remote-control car or He-Man figurine, I’m hoping the universe has two baby Aguirres headed our way in 2019.

Making Babies in San Diego

Ahhh, San Diego.  Swaying palm trees, a temperate climate, surf and sand, the land of Shamu – oh yeah, and fertility capital USA.  Say what?  Who would have thought that San Diego has two of the world’s most pre-eminent fertility clinics.  And here DJ and I were in one of them this past July – about to, ahem, release our “little men” to kick-start this baby-making process.  But, I’m getting a little ahead of myself.  Let me rewind.

Earlier this year, DJ and I were on a waitlist for a surrogate.  To help truncate our timelines, we decided to create our embryos and have them frozen so that they would be ready for implantation the moment our surrogate was ready.

My mind had been blown when we learned through our surrogacy agency, IARC, that fertility science had advanced so much that the success rate of implanted frozen embryos was equal (if not better) than fresh ones.  So many of my girlfriends who had gone through IVF were told that fresh is better – but apparently that is only in cases where couples have had challenges conceiving naturally.  DJ and I would have our embryos created and genetically tested even before we had a surrogate identified.

But, how do you decide which fertility clinic to use?  IARC had provided us a list of clinics that they work with.  We looked at that list and expanded our search to include other offices that are in the Bay Area.  But, we were quickly turned off by the two clinics in San Francisco – one had recently had a total mishap where backup generators had failed causing the cryo tanks to turn off which contained eggs and embryos.  Unfortunately, that genetic material was lost. My heart went out to so many people whose dreams of having a child were erased.  The other clinic had ok success rates, but their wait times to even see the fertility doctor were long.

Success rates for us were the number one criteria, but some level of proximity to us was equally as important.  We looked at clinics in Oregon, but ultimately, our search narrowed to the two clinics in San Diego – San Diego Fertility Center (SDFC) and La Jolla IVF Center.  Both had similar success rates, were highly rated and had similar pricing.

Ultimately, SDFC won out over La Jolla because of the egg donor.  Yes, the egg donor.  In a previous post I mentioned that most fertility clinics also run their own egg donor networks.  The benefit of using their donor networks vs. other sources is that they do some pre-screening of the egg donors beforehand thus ensuring you won’t have any surprises later on.

We focused on two egg donors – one from each clinic.  Ultimately, one egg donor from La Jolla was unreachable by the clinic and was ruled out.  So, we decided to move forward with our anonymous donor from SDFC and we couldn’t have been happier with our choice.

So, we flew down to San Diego in July and we were greeted by a friendly staff who walked us through step-by-step what we could expect during this entire scientific process.  And most importantly, we got to meet our fertility doctor in person, Dr. Daneshmand, Dr. D. for short.  Dr. D is incredibly talented plus he does a great job of explaining everything we wanted to know.  He’s skilled at using simple everyday language to explain some Gattica-level genetics.  We felt fortunate to have one of the best in the industry on our team.

During the visit, we also had full physical exams, medical screenings including a bajillion gallons of blood withdrawn – I hate blood!  Oh, yeah, and we had to like, um, you know, go get “inspired” in the bathroom so they’d have our genetic material to work with.

DJ went first.  It’s kinda weird to wait for your spouse to go “do the deed” and then have to follow suit.  The whole event was clinical and weird.  But, like many straight couples before us, I’m sure we’re not the only people who conceived their children in a bathroom.  LOL

Well, with our contributions on ice, our anonymous egg donor went in for her appointment for the egg extraction a few weeks later.  They sourced a total of 23 eggs, 19 of which were mature enough to fertilize.  The clinic then split the eggs between us and fertilized all 19.

In the end, 7 matured successfully to blastocyst phase (that’s an embryo that’s 6 days old.)  We opted to do preimplantation genetic screening (PGS), which allows you to test for chromosomal abnormalities and even see the gender of the embryos.  Really cool stuff!

We learned that we had six healthy embryos in total – 4 boys and 2 girls.  The seventh embryo had a genetic anomaly that made it not viable for implantation.  And most exciting of all, the two healthiest embryos were a boy and a girl, exactly what DJ and I wanted!

So now the embryos wait to be thawed and two will be implanted in our surrogate, Ilsa on December 4^th.  We’ll be flying down to San Diego next month to meet with Ilsa and be with her for this next big step.  We’ll be able to soak in those amazing San Diego ocean views while we toast Ilsa as we embark on the next leg of this amazing adventure, together.

A Surrogate in Sioux Falls

I have to admit, when I first heard that our potential surrogate was from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, I had to find it on Google maps.  The only thing I really knew about South Dakota is that its’ capital is Pierre – my little brother’s name.  I had memorized all the State capitals in fourth grade.  But now, I found myself researching tons about Sioux Falls – it’s history.  It’s accent.  Turns out it’s not the same as North Dakota. I thought they’d sound like Fargo!  No dice.  And, I learned about their booming economy and their billionaire benefactor, T. Denny Sanford – more on him in a moment.

In previous posts I mentioned how DJ and I have been waiting to be matched with a surrogate for what seems like FOREVER!  15 months in and finally we heard that we had a potential match.  Her name is Ilsa.  She’s open to having twins.  She’s a mom of an adorable 4-year-old boy.  She’s a nurse and she has done her research and spent a lot of time thinking about becoming a surrogate before ultimately deciding to move forward.  She sounded promising.

So an introduction call was set up one morning facilitated by IARC, our surrogacy agency.  We were provided a list of questions to guide the conversation beforehand.  On the one hand, I appreciated the thoroughness – it covered a lot of ground.  But, on the other hand it also made for a rather awkward conversation.  There’s nothing like following up pleasantries with a “so, how do you feel about painfully invasive testing?”  Or everyone’s favorite ice breaker, “what are your thoughts on selective reduction due to genetic abnormalities?”  So heart warming!

Well, in the face of these heady topics, we still were able to find grace and humanity in our conversation.  We could tell Ilsa was grounded, in this for the right reasons and she simply had a warmth about her that we loved.  At the end of the call, the three of us agreed we had found our match!

After mutually agreeing we were done with awkward interactions, we got to the brass tacks of building a relationship.  And it’s still underway as we speak – we’re slowly trying to get into a groove.  We’ve exchanged emails, phone numbers and we’re slowing establishing regular comms.  We even discovered we’re on a similar wave-length, as I started my blog, Ilsa had also started her own.  Check it out:  An Unconventional Oven.

Over the last few weeks we’ve been doing a lot of prep work to get to the embryo transfer date.  Ilsa flew down to San Diego to have a medical evaluation with our fertility clinic.  She also did a “mock cycle” where she took hormones to see if her body would respond favorably.  She passed with flying colors and early.  All very promising!

We also had to get a gestational surrogacy contract in place.  We had to review a 15 page beast of a document that covers a lot of weird scenarios.  One in particular I wanted to mention was travel restrictions.  Most women know about travel bans to places where Zika is common.  But, the contract also covers travel in the third trimester to states where surrogacy law is not favorable.  Unfortunately, Ilsa’s mom lives in Nebraska, one of the States with rather backward views on surrogacy.  It’s a place that would not recognize DJ and my parentage from a “Pre-Birth Order” and as a result, would award custody and write Ilsa’s name on our babies birth certificates.  Obviously that would not be ideal – but no doubt, Ilsa faced a dilemma in that decision.

Another consideration was Ilsa’s choice hospital.  As mentioned, we’re lucky that Ilsa is a nurse and happens to work at Sanford Medical Center.  Remember that rich benefactor I mentioned earlier?  Well turns out that guy has bankrolled one of the best hospitals in the country and it happens to have a Level 4 Neonatal Intensive Care Unit – anyone considering having twins needs to consider this as twins are likely to be born premature – somewhere in the range of 60%.  DJ and I want to ensure our babies get absolutely the best care early on.

As we approach the transfer date next month – we’ve largely gotten our to-do list done.  We signed our agreement with Ilsa.  IARC is also in the process of securing a health insurance plan that will cover all of Ilsa’s surrogacy related expenses.  And, we’ve written one of the last big checks that covers Ilsa’s surrogate fees.

Our heart is full with anticipation and excitement as we await the next big step.  It’s been quite the journey so far and yet it seems like it’s only getting started.  There is no doubt that we’ll be spending a lot of time in Sioux Falls and I’m certain I’ll be able to point it out on a map with a blindfold on from now on.

The Waiting Game

DJ and I waited a few months before pulling the trigger to sign our surrogacy agency contract.  I’m not sure why.  It sat in our email inboxes taunting us.  Maybe we were expecting the other to yell “Psyche!” and we’d laugh at ourselves for thinking this was a good idea.  But in retrospect, I think we both wanted to feel 100% ready.  So, when we finally felt we were there, we signed.  And then realized, just because you’re ready doesn’t mean the universe responds in kind.

In my prior post I mentioned that IARC, our surrogacy agency, was upfront about the fact that they had an 11-13 month waitlist to match us with a surrogate.  When we first learned about this, we were like, “that’s perfect, it will give us plenty of time to prepare!”  But when you’re emotionally ready to get this baby party started, that time feels like an ETERNITY.

Every month, we’d receive this infographic from IARC telling us what number we’re on the waitlist, how many surrogates were in the pipeline, how many couples had been matched and how many couples had failed attempts and were back at the top of the list.  I found this last part rather reassuring to know that if a transfer didn’t work out, you wouldn’t have to start from zero.

We started on the waitlist as intended parents #76.  And at the end of every month, we would get an update that would show us how many spots we advanced on the list.  Usually it was between 5-8 spots.  We got excited as each month passed and we got closer and closer to the top 10.  We’d send our moms exuberant texts proclaiming that their grandkids were mere months away.  They in turn would egg us on and ask a bunch of questions about next steps.

This past spring, we were getting tantalizingly close to the top of the list and we started to ask ourselves, wait a minute – shouldn’t we have a bunch of stuff done before we’re even matched?  We knew we had to pick an egg donor – that was a months-long endeavor.  But, what about the legal paperwork?  What about the fertility clinic selection?  What else were we missing?

Our IARC coordinator, Jillian, did her best to quell our anxiety and gave us some tasks to do in preparation for an upcoming match.  We busily got those things going – more on that later.  She must have thought we were lunatics, but she did her best to talk us off our anxious ledge.

In May, things turned into what felt a glacial pace.  The 12 months were up and we were still no closer to the Top 10 as we had been in the month before or the month before that.  We were no longer moving up 5, 6, 7, 8 spots – we were crawling up 1 or maybe 2 spots.  One month, we didn’t move up at all.  We grew frustrated!

When we spoke to Jillian, it appeared they were not getting as many surrogate candidates in the pipeline as they had hoped.  Usually, for every 100 women that express interest in becoming a surrogate, only 6 actually move to the matching phase.  Why?  Mainly, they either get eliminated from their medical history, physical exam or psyche evaluation.

There’s a long list of things that a surrogate needs to be considered a viable candidate.  They need to have a strong support network.  They need to have previously had a successful vaginal birth.  If you’ve had a caesarian section – you’re ruled out because you’re likely to have a complicated pregnancy the next time around.  You can’t just be in it for the money either – there has to be a greater desire to help a couple.  And, you have to pass a series of medical tests and be willing to inject yourself daily with a cocktail of hormones.  Net net – finding surrogates is a tough slog.

But, of course – you can’t rationalize with someone who has baby fever.  All of this sounded like excuses.  We were getting even more annoyed.

But that frustration quickly dissipated when we finally found our surrogate match last month.  Yes, it took 15 months, longer than we had hoped.  But, it was a great match indeed.  I don’t want to spoil that part – I have a whole chapter dedicated to Ilsa, our surrogate.

The funny part about all this waiting, is that it’s just finishing one stage of the wait game only to start another.  Now that we’re matched, we have to wait for additional medical screenings and contracts to be written up and signed.  And once that is done, we need to wait for Ilsa’s cycle to align with the transfer date.  Then we need to wait and see if our transfer is successful.  And once that is done, we need to wait 9 whole months for our babies to finally be here.  So, this is a patient man’s game more than anything.

The old adage, hurry up and wait is a perfect summation of our experience so far.

#surrogacy #gestationalsurrogacy #surrogacyagency #surrogate #gaysurrogacy #gaycouple #gaydads #dad #dadblog #dads #waiting #waitlist #surrogacywaitlist #surrogatematch

Minnesota or Bust: Picking the Right Surrogacy Agency

The thing that can absolutely make or break your surrogacy experience (and your wallet) is the surrogacy agency.  A surrogacy agency is a mix of many things – part Sherpa, part matchmaker, part medical advisor, part legal counsel, part therapist and part bank.  They are involved in every single aspect of your journey.  And as a result, you better really like working with them and prepare yourself to pay dearly for that service.

So it’s no surprise that picking the right one feels like a pretty high-stakes endeavor.  Luckily, brave gay trailblazers have done a lot of work with these agencies over the last few years.  One resource we relied on heavily during our search was the agency ratings on Men Having Babies.  It’s an online educational resource and referral site that hosts surrogacy seminars around the world – we found a lot of their information very useful.

It was on their agency ratings page that we first learned about International Assisted Reproduction Center (IARC) run by surrogacy attorney, Steven H. Snyder.  This is the Minnesota agency that we ultimately selected, but let me tell you a bit about what we learned.

So as you can imagine, gestational surrogacy agencies reside in a bit of a proverbial wild, wild west.  Some states don’t allow gestational surrogacy at all, others don’t explicitly ban it, but also don’t regulate the agencies operating either.  Other states like California and Minnesota are at the forefront of surrogacy with clear laws and protections for LGBT couples.  The gist of it, surrogacy law and surrogacy agencies in the US are all over the place.  Buyer beware.

There are also different kinds of agencies.  Some offer “white glove” service, you pay upwards of $280K and within a year you have your diamond-encrusted baby with an Ivy-League educated egg donor sitting on a bed of caviar.  OK, I exaggerated there a tad.

You also have the “baby mills,” these massive operations particularly in California where they are pushing through a large number of intended parents and surrogates through a rather fast-paced and impersonal process.  And, then you have quite a bit of boutiques, some of them family-run, where you get more personalized service and attention.

We shortlisted three agencies and interviewed all of them.  And, the agency that struck us the most was Snyder’s IARC.  When we Facetimed with him we felt an instant connection to his approach – a mix of practicality, straight-forwardness, honesty and midwestern warmth.  It was one of the more “affordable” agencies (I use this with a bit of irony given the costs).  As a result of their lower pricing, they also had a waitlist for a surrogate which at the time they noted being between 11-13 months long.  We appreciated them being upfront about that.

Aside from the general feeling we got from our chat with Snyder, we loved that it was a family affair, but not like a rinky dink operation.  His daughter is also an attorney working at the firm and it seemed that they ran the agency like a family.  But, they had the staff and the resources of an established company.  The reviews we saw from surrogates who went through their program over the years had mainly glowing things to say.  And, a gay couple that used IARC that we spoke to on the East Coast expressed their good experience working with them.  We also liked that 90% of the couples they worked with were LGBT.

Another plus for us was that Snyder was on the BAR Association as the lead on gestational surrogacy law.   Since he will be representing us in our surrogacy contract and parentage proceedings – my anxiety went down from like a 10 to a more manageable 4.  =-)

So over a year and a half ago we signed up with IARC.   And our experience has been generally positive.  We received these cool, monthly infographic updates on where we were on the surrogate match waitlist which the nerd in me enjoyed immensely.  They helped us find the perfect fertility clinic – who would have thought San Diego was such a baby-making capital?  They helped us navigate the options to find the perfect egg donor.  And, they helped us find the perfect surrogate.  More on all of this in later posts.

So what did we learn from all of this that we can share with you?  Use the gift of gab.  If you are remotely interested in doing gestational surrogacy, talk to as many people that you can!  Talk to the surrogates who used the agency, talk to other parents who used them.  Don’t just talk to the leader of the company, but also ask to speak to the coordinators you’ll be working with day in and day out.  And most importantly, follow your intuition – you’ll know you found the right agency when it feels right.

#surrogacy #gaysurrogacy #surrogacyagency #LGBT #fatherhood #parents #intendedparents #gestationalsurrogacy #dad #dadblog #dads #gaydads

The Dreaded Question: Surrogacy vs. Adoption

Creating families amongst gay couples is relatively a new phenomenon – think of the sea of change that has occurred over the past 20 years.  I mean, it was only three years ago way back in 2015 when the US Supreme Court finally legalized same-sex marriage.  So, it’s no surprise that there is generally a lack of understanding about the options available to gay couples to start a family of their own.

That lack of knowledge can lead to some rather awkward conversations.  Generally, most people tend to assume that if you are a gay male couple – you’re likely starting a family through adoption.  These uncomfortable chats generally occur more regularly with straight couples.

Here’s how a typical conversation goes:

Me: “So my husband and I are looking to start a family next year.”

Straight Person: “Wow, that’s so great!  There are so many children in need of love, that is so selfless of you to do.”

Me: “Um, you’re absolutely right, there are so many children in need of a safe home with loving parents, that breaks my heart.  But, my husband and I are actually doing gestational surrogacy, not adoption.”

Straight Person: “Why don’t you just adopt?  Why bring another kid into this world when you have the ability to change one life, now?”

Me:  “Well, that’s a tough question.  Not to pry, but can I ask why you and your spouse decided to have children of your own rather than adopt?”

——Awkward silence——-

DJ and I have had variations of this dialogue too many times to count.  And, let me preface this by saying that I know that these people have zero ill-intent.  They are generally curious and usually at the end of the conversation, they are genuinely happy for us.

But, that doesn’t shake the feeling of something that’s left unsaid.  You’re left with the thought that perhaps it is selfish to want to have children that are genetically your own.  That in a world that is over-populated and fast approaching a hell on Earth scenario from global warming – that we are somehow being self-centered, basic bitches.

We did consider adoption.  We have several good friends who are adopted and they spoke about how transformative that experience was for them.  One adopted friend in particular, who lives in New York, is one of the happiest, most well-adjusted, successful and amazing human beings I know.  He and his partner recently adopted a son of their own and are very happy.

My friend Hernan and his husband went through the entire process of gestational surrogacy only to end up on the other end of the process “empty handed.”  They had several failed transfer attempts and ultimately decided to adopt.  They now have two amazing grade schoolers who fill my Instagram feed with funny pictures and stories.  Our friends were really lucky to find such amazing kids.  Adoption is an incredible gift and it does take a special couple to embark on such a journey.

On the other hand, we also have friends who have toiled on adoption waitlists for years.  They created “marketing materials,” were certified in CPR and had their homes inspected only to wait helplessly while the system identified a child in need.   A couple of good friends who are expecting an adopted newborn in January confessed their anxiety over their adoption contract that gave the biological mother up to 30 days post-birth to change her mind.  Can you imagine bringing a baby home and then having that baby taken away?  I know that’s an unlikely scenario – but it’s certainly a what-if that goes through my anxious mind as we calculate all the different potential outcomes.

In the end, so why did we go down a different path?  We decided on gestational surrogacy for a few reasons.  The main one I will admit is rather esoteric.  But, I think a lot of straight couples will recognize this thought.  Having biological kids of our own is a way to create life that is a product of our love for each other – bringing the best of us, together.  Later, when I share the egg donor selection process – you’ll understand more of what DJ and I were looking for to make this happen (as best we can).

The other reasons were centered on a couple of different themes – the desire to break the cycle of abandonment from our dads and the desire to see if our children could go on to accomplish even greater feats than us.  And, it doesn’t hurt that we are blessed financially to be able to pursue this rather costly process.  Hello babies means buh-bye beach house!

In the end, the choice to start a family and the best way to do so is a personal one.  We reflected on it for quite a bit of time and ultimately, DJ and I were on the same page.

Perhaps in some ways our desires might be selfish, but it’s in the pursuit of a noble cause.  And, we’re incredibly excited to see this through no matter how many awkward conversations ensue from our non-traditional family!

#surrogacy #gaysurrogacy #surrogacyagency #adoption #gayadoption #LGBT #fatherhood #parents #intendedparents #gestationalsurrogacy #dad #dadblog #dads #gaydads