It’s been five months since we were introduced on the phone to Ilsa, our surrogate. The last few weeks were a whirlwind of legal documents, medical evaluations and half-attempts at establishing some form of regular communications between us.
But, here we were at the end of November in San Diego getting ready to meet Ilsa and her mom for dinner. DJ and my nerves were a little on edge. That night we’d be meeting Ilsa and the next day, our embryos would be transferred and we’d be off to the races. These were two really BIG steps in our journey. And, I was looking for signs that everything would work out!
Fortunately, we were staying at La Valencia Hotel in La Jolla. The views of the ocean and the sounds of the waves hitting up along the cove were soothing. Unfortunately, DJ had taken a bad fall the night before and had scratched the cornea of his eye and had a pretty bad cold, too, so he largely slept most of the day. Good sign, bad sign?
I took a walk along the beach, stopped for gelato and watched the sea lions. I laughed to myself as twins with their mom pointed excitedly at the creatures and calling out, “Focas! Focas, mami!” (i.e. Sea lions! Sea lions, mommy!) But the elderly couple next to us clearly did not speak Spanish, and I think they were mortified thinking “focas” sounded a little too much like an English expletive. You can use your imagination. The joys of raising bilingual kids! I can’t wait. And, I took this exchange as a good sign.
I browsed a gift shop and found the cutest baby onesie. I wanted something that would memorialize this big event and this place. The onesie I liked said, “Life Guard. San Diego.” I got a blue one and a gray one. They were way too expensive, but I had to have them. I was a man in search of auspicious signs, even if I had to create them, myself.
As I watched the sunset right before dinner, I was in awe of the rich colors in the sky. It was amazing to watch the yellow then orange/red contrasts glimmering on the sea with the silhouettes of palm trees swaying gently from my window. It felt magical, and yes, another good sign.
But, the best sign of all was meeting Ilsa. We met in person in the lobby of the Valencia Hotel and walked to dinner a block away. The conversation at first was slow, but we soon found a good rhythm and common ground. It was great to have Marilyn there, Ilsa’s mom. She was so funny and warm and so proud of her daughter. It was nice to get to know Ilsa through her mom’s eyes. We shared a toast, Ilsa’s last glass of wine for several months, and cheered to the adventure that lay before us. Our food was great, we had a lovely conversation – getting to know each other a little better. And, we ended dinner a little early – DJ’s eye was still giving him trouble and he wanted to rest for the big day.
We walked back to the hotel – I was giddy, DJ was a little groggy from his Nyquil. And, we said goodnight. The next morning we’d be traveling to San Diego Fertility Clinic, together. All, in a all, the day had been full a good signs!
When we got to SDFC we were greeted by the staff. They were so excited for us! They showed us images of our two embryos under the microscope. One picture was when they were initially thawed and the next was an hour later. We were amazed how they had doubled in size in such a short window of time. They were definitely thriving and looked healthy. Another great sign!
And, in the medical room we got to watch the embryo transfer happen on a large TV monitor – first with the embryos under microscope and then via ultrasound as they were implanted.
After the procedure, we said our goodbyes to Ilsa and her mom and headed to the airport (with a little detour to the nearby Urgent Care facility to have DJ’s eye checked out.) As we reflected on the two days – everything had felt so right. It was a miracle to watch the entire procedure. It was incredible to finally meet Ilsa and her mom and get to know each other. All in all, the two days seemed to point to a lot of great things coming our way real soon.